The Hard Times’ Hard Drive

Hard Drive:

A lead change occurred in the final lap of the Rainbow Road Grand Prix last night during what was supposed to be a friendly game of Mario Kart amongst friends, when a blue spiny shell struck the leading racer mere inches from the finish. The driver, Marty Witten, fell from first place to last before creeping over the finish line.

“Fuck shit goddamn motherfucking ass shit fuck,” said a visibly perturbed Witten, who had led the entire race before the shell struck. “Fuck fuck fuck I hate this stupid bullshit game AHHHHH!”

Hard Drive kills me. I chuckle at damn near every one of their headlines.

Part of The Hard Times, it’s essentially The Onion of video games. Whether you’re deep into video game culture or you simply reminisce on days spent playing Mario Kart 64, it deserves a follow.

Blue shells. Fuck shit goddamn. Haven’t we all been there?

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